Thursday I had another ultrasound to check the baby's heart. That was the first scan since finding out that the baby had Edwards Syndrome, Trisomy 18. It was mainly to check for heart defects. Thankfully the consultant couldn't find any problems, although he was careful to remind me that this condition means that issues can still come up.
Seemingly about 60% of pregnancies dont make it to full term. Of those that do most babies don't survive past a week.
The first decision i need to make is whether to have a planned caesarean or try for normal birth. He said that if I try for a normal birth and they monitor the baby's heartbeat they will more than likely end up doing an emergency section as the baby will more than likely go into distress. I want a normal birth, but I get the feeling that there is nothing normal about this situation.
The second decision that I need to think about is how I want to proceed after the birth it the baby survives. Do I let the pediatricians care for the baby? Or do I keep baby with me and maximise the time we would have together? I think this is a no win situation. I imagine that i will feel guilty with which ever option i choose. So far I have chosen both options thousands of times and then changed my mind again....
So for now, I am praying with all my heart that we just get some time with the baby, however we choose to proceed.
6 comments:
Oh Caroline, I'm agonising with you all the way it seems. You have so many awful decisions to make and I can quite understand how you are wavering between one choice and another - it all has to be considered so carefully. What I am sure of is that no baby has ever had such a caring mother who only wants the best for it whatever the outcome. Take care my friend. Elizabeth xx
Gosh, Caroline, blogger is acting up tonight so sorry about receiving my comment twice :( Elizabeth x
I can do nothing except send you support and love through these words. Just know that whatever your decision may be, it will be the RIGHT decision. No one can tell you what to do and no one can ever say you are wrong. You and your husband and baby are in my thoughts every day.
You continue to be in my prayers. You will make the right decision for your family when the time comes.
Caroline,you have indeed so many decisions to make and you can only do what you believe to be right at the time....my thoughts and prayers are with you
Alison xx
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